Day 1: Montana and North Dakota
Our intrepid traveler broadens their horizons.
- 0730: According to Wikipedia, federal regulations specify when and how trains should sound their horns.
- Also 0730: Train engineer: Regulations are for suckers. I will honk for any, every, and no reason whatsoever. HHHHOOOONNNKKKK. HONK HONK HONK. HHHHHOOOONNNKKKK.
Montana river 
A river runs through it
- 0745-0900: Montana is beautiful!! Due to clouds, I didn’t get a glimpse of any glaciers as we passed by Glacier National Park, but the river was an astonishing shade of teal from the glacial melt.
- 0900: Breakfast was a sandwich of such mediocrity I regret mentioning it.
A scraggly field 
Depressing farm
- 0900-1200: Edit: Western Montana is beautiful. Eastern Montana is a bleak landscape of scraggly fields, depressing farms, and lack of cell service.
- 1200: The only notable thing about lunch was the roll and butter pat.
- 1300-1700: Still Montana. Please god, don’t let this train break down before we get to North Dakota.
A tree!
- 1700: North Dakota, at last! And with it, a tree! Clearly, this is the promised land.
- 1800: Another roll and butter pat. When Omar Khayyam wrote “A loaf of bread, a jug of wine, and thou,” I’m pretty sure “thou” = “butter pat”. Like, 99% certain.
- 1900: I heard a joke about North Dakota once. It’s so flat, you can watch your dog run away for 2 days.
- 2000: Amtrak, in its blessed wisdom, scheduled the rest of ND for when we are asleep. A bit of reading, and then bed.